I haven’t written anything significant in a while. I’ve been spending quite a bit of time just listening – to podcasts, books, etc. And feeling like I just needed some time to focus on lots of other things. But I recently found all my writing from growing up, and though I would NEVER write that way on the public internetz, I do think having a space to talk about thoughts more coherently might be interesting. So. Here I am. Back again. Maybe writing some things in earnest. I think I also felt a bit limited in my freedom of expression because of work. I didn’t really want to be open about what I was thinking. But I am more settled in my job, and feel like it’s totally reasonable for me to, in my own personal space, write about what I think.
It is a sad, sad time. I’m overwhelmed still be how the election has felt, and I don’t think it’s possible to fully comprehend the impact this will have on the world. It feels like 70,000 Americans fucked over the world. Of course, it is more than that, because really, it’s everyone who voted for he-who-shall-not-be-named. I am still somewhat hopeful that things will not be as bad as I fear they will. But that hope is limited by my realism. I’m not even sure how bad things will get. I’m not sure how it will impact me personally, nor how it will impact other peoples’ individual lives. I’m angry with Republicans for failing to stand up to incompetence, and the whole system feels like it is broken. I believe in the idea and ideals of America, but honestly, I’m not certain I believe in the structure of the government.
I think I will feel sad for a very long time about what we could have had under a President Hillary Clinton – someone who is so smart, hard working, thoughtful. Someone who listens. A woman. And it’s not because she’s a woman that I supported her, and wish she’d have won, it’s that she would have been an incredible progressive leader. But while I’m scared about what will happen, and it is frustrating, I am hopeful about the movement I’ve seen, hopeful about how many people are outraged, hopeful that we can make it through this, stronger. That we can bend the arc of the moral universe toward justice, so to speak. I am anxious to be a part of that, to do the personal work around it, and shape my own life in a way that reflects my values.