So I have been on several dating websites over the past 2 years. I’ve met some interesting people, most of whom I never interacted with again, but a couple with whom I’ve stayed in touch, and I do still believe it might be possible to meet someone on one that I would actually want to date. I’ve never been particularly aggressive about it, but rather seen it as a way to expand my horizon in terms of meeting new interesting people who I would never meet under other circumstances. Firstly, I’d like to say that I think I have vastly overestimated the number of awesome people in the world. Probably because I’m from Chapel Hill. There is just a much smaller percentage of awesomeness everywhere else. I’m a little biased, perhaps, but I do think that there’s something about CH…something that attracts interesting, intelligent, fun, funny, talented people. It’s probably UNC. But other places have universities, and lots of lame people go to UNC, so I don’t know.
Anyway, none of this is the point and I’m getting really rant-y (excited about my interview tomorrow!!!). I just came across a profile one one of said dating websites where someone posted a picture with the caption, “Me and my girlfriend in 2006.” Now, it’s fine that you had a girlfriend in 2006. But let’s be serious, rule number 1 of dating websites is NOT to post pictures of you with a girlfriend. That’s just stupid. Right? I kind of can’t believe it. But it also made me think about some of the other weird things people have said in their profiles/messages to me. The other day, I received a message entitled “I’m confused…” and containing the message “are you shy or something?” I have no idea WTF this guy was talking about. I think I’m pretty upbeat/open/not shy in my profile essays. And pictures. It’s weird. And then this other guy recently sent me a message entitled “Hi”:
hey whats up my name is [insert name] im 26 just got out the military looking for cool new friends i believe everything starts with a friendship. I seen ur profile i think ur a fun outgoing person and would like to get to know you better i love to dance and enjoy the outdoors what are some things you like to do for fun ?well hope to here from you bye P.S cute pics whats ur nationality?
Seriously?? I mean, I admit it’s kinda sweet, but PROOFREAD, people! It’s like a 6 year old could have written this. And his profile was lots of caps (though not entirely, which is just…weirder) and similarly mis-spelled (I have this special place on my hate list for “u” instead of “you” or “ur” instead of “your” or “you’re.” Additionally, this young man is unfamiliar with correct conjugation, and likes to point out the obvious–“I seen ur profile” is the most offensive line to me. Of course you HAVE seen my profile. Also can you not add two letters to “ur” to make it correct?? Is it that much trouble? Maybe some periods and capitalization while you’re at it. The nationality think is kind of a cool question, but I said I was white…I’m just kind of wondering what nationality he suspects I am, and also if he knows the definition of nationality, instead of perhaps heritage. But I’ll let that one slide). Also, we’re 33% of a match, based on how we’ve answered a bunch of questions about what we want in relationships and our values. What makes you think I would like you, or even respond?? Just as that dude who wrote me the previous message, I’m confused.
I could go on about the 20 or so guys I’ve met in person, too, but overall, they were not so bad, there was just no connection. Or they seemed…scared? of me.
I will say, on the plus side, I’ve gotten to meet lots of people who are in their own ways, quite interesting and as I said, I never would have met. Maybe for the best, but I think it’s been a good way to spend some time. And I don’t actually feel like my online dating luck has been any worse than my in-life dating luck. In fact, I think in some ways it’s been more worthwhile. In real life, I’ve had some weird dating shit happen to me as well. I guess my point in all of this is to give a shout-out to internet dating. At some point, I’ll probably write a bit more. As for now, I just wanted to mostly share about that guy and his girlfriend picture, just as an example of how naive people can be about what “works,” just in life in general. I’m consistently astonished at peoples’ idiocy. But whatever. I’m learning to deal.