Sickness, Disillusionment and Disappointment

This week, unfortunately, can be summarized as sickness, disillusionment and disappointment. So I started feeling sick Wednesday, and it hasn’t gotten much worse–mostly just stuffy nose, a headache, and feeling overall exhausted and icky. Trying to drink lots of tea and still work. Because what I discovered today is that the few 4 days that I THOUGHT I got for vacation after my 3 months of probation, turns out is actually 1 day. So I get one day for the holidays. Yippee!! AND, after that, I can’t take off ANYthing until the end of March (6 months). I think I get some sick days…but nothing other than that. So I’m a little annoyed by that. But I guess that’s just how things go. Good thing I don’t actually care about Christmas.

The disillusionment is a combination of work and seeing “Where The Wild Things Are.” I guess I wasn’t disillusioned by the movie, but it highlighted some of the feelings I’m having about the world. It is a tragic place, where things could work so much more effectively and efficiently, but they don’t because everyone is just so busy doing their own teeny piece, and just cannot see the big picture and how their piece fits into that. And even someone like me, who can see it, does, they usually conclude that it is not worth it to even attempt to overhaul the system. It would be too much work for something that most likely will not happen. The cost in time, effort, and anything else is simply not worth the miniscule possibility that anything at all would change. So I guess the best any of us can do is figure out which part is worth fighting for, and what we are willing to devote to that. Anyway, it’s just annoying.

The disappointment was the not being able to take off much time for the holidays. I miss my friends and family who will be in Chapel Hill for the holidays, and won’t be back for a year. It’s frustrating knowing I’ll be able to come for a week in April, but could only come for a weekend any time before that (which I might do).

That’s about all. I’m pretty exhausted from the sickness, but I have the second half of my bed back (yay!) so that’s pretty exciting. Mostly, I think I just need rest.