Figuring it Out

The title of my blog is Learning to Be An Adult, with good reason.  I feel like I am still very much learning this thing.  Very much figuring out what in the hell I want out of life.  This year, 25th, that is, has been more intensely that way than I think any year of my life has been.  I’ve been following my nose, and then this year, I was finally like, “wait, what is this seriously all about?? Where am I going here?” I know no one really has an answer for that, and my journey is still so much in its beginning phases.  But there’s been a re-evaluation of sorts.  Wondering if how I’m dealing with things is how I want to be, or if I need to really shift.  I’m blown away by how much improv has made me happier, and moreover, fulfilled, and I am freaked out at the idea of fucking that up.  And I love the idea of studying gender and comedy, but I am so enamored with data also…I just don’t know where to take things.  I feel like I’ve been exploring, and now I’m in the midst of a processing phase.  Which is interesting.  And I trust that something will come out of it, at some point.  I just have to be patient, and keep being open and curious.  I worry that it won’t, but it’s also exciting.  Like seeing a flower bloom, but not knowing what colors it will be still.

I’m listening to Bon Iver, so if this is super-sappy, that’s part of why.

I’m missing my last improv class because I’m sick.  Lame.  Sad, but I’m strangely proud of myself, because it’s really what I need right now, even if it isn’t what I want.

And on that note, I’m gonna curl up on the couch and watch some stupid show, probably Law & Order: SVU.